Ep. 190 Saving Jingle Balls

Meeeerrrryyyyy Christmas, ya fucks!!! We ho ho hope you are having the best damn holiday it's possible for your little heart to have!!! Because we adore you, we have done the unspeakable. We have subjected ourselves to Rotten Tomatoes' Worst Movie Ever, the 0% rated Christmas abortion called.... Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas. Yes, we did. Just for you and your precious holiday entertainment. So please, listen to this show so that our sacrifice was not in vain. Happy holidays (oh yes, I went there!)!!! LOVE YOU, BYE!!!!!

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Ep. 189 Pornography Scrapbook

Oh, hey there! Welcome to the show where we talk about losing touch with our youth, Lyle Menendez's bald pate, frogs that look like scrotums, and oh so much more! We love and respect you!!! Muah, kisses, hugs, loves, squinches!!!

Download HERE!

Ep. 188 Poop a Penis

Oh God. Really? We talked about some things... Like toilet snakes (scourge of humanity), perverted landlord love making, the vast web of conspiracy encompassing the globe (#pizzagate) and ever so much more! Join us, won't you? And forgive us for we have sinned. Love you, bye!!! Squinches!

http://www.mediafire.com/file/1lw8p4i57zz7mim/188firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 187 Nards

Ready to giggle? Then this is the show for you!!! We dissected a true crime case involving a tuna can and a penis, possibly blasphemed the holy spirit (haha, not really Lord, please let us into heaven), and hot conservative lady meat. Enjoy, we love you!!!!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/file/6npp44ubxhs9afx/187firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 186 Ponycycle

*Trigger Warning* If you are triggered by the gentle coughing of a beautiful lady recovering from an illness, this is not the episode for you. Mandy had a slight case of the coughs and it could not have angered Dan more. Aside from that, we chatted about elderly vaginal dryness, hooking for burgers, and virginity pledges. We love you, sorry for the coughs!!! Squinches!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/file/imwl8fx000a7dcg/186firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 185 Parallel Disturbia

Dan is back in town and this podcast is back in your hearts!!! We talked about the usual stuff: old lady dildoos, The Joy of Pooping, easy ways to check if your spouse is cheating (it involves balls), and so very much more. Aren't you glad there's a new show out?! I am, I missed it! Please don't give up on us friends, I know we've been inconsistent lately. Dan's work schedule will even out soon & we'll get back to our regular schedule! Love you! Squinches! Bye!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/file/zgs1blh778c5o2m/185firnecast.mp3

Ep. 184 Tor of Tang

Hello there, it's us, The Firnecast! This week we told the romantic tale of a man, his mountain, his ladies, his horse, and his gasoline. We also discussed Dan's imminent demise due to arm cancer, Mandy's upcoming stand up comedy routine, terrible nasty farts, and so much more! Enjoy this one, folks! We love you to bits n' bits!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/5yjbw9y5isxw1jo/184firnecast.mp3

Ep. 183 Gravel Dick

Dan is still on location, but we love you so much we still recorded a show! This week we give you some tips on getting away with public masturbation, rolling around in the grass because you're sad, and we introduced a new segment all about the glorious 90's!!! Please enjoy, we love you!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/kfn4nxhxt1mxwde/183firnecast.mp3

Ep. 182 Hairy Nub

There was a guy with a hairy nub, Olympic dreams were shattered by a penis, and some genitals were mule kicked... We talked about so many more things, and we had ourselves a giggle. Please to enjoy, we love you!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/fci4t6hq6mfn6r6/182firnecast.output.mp3

Ep. 181 Rolling Commode

Old men are pretty damn disgusting, we learned this week. We also learned that you can get a helluva bargain on adult diapers on Facebook, the ethics of dating an animal, and the effectiveness of weaponized breast milk! Please join us and please enjoy it!!!!! Muah!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/97jdjbx3duj7l64/181firnecast.output.mp3

Ep. 180 Dickface Johnson

We had a hulluva show this week, folks! And by that I mean we talked about Dan's first whack, Pokemon demons, the craziest Mariachi, Facebook Grandma, and ever so much more! Enjoy it!!!!!! Muah!!!!!

Download HERE!

Ep. 179 Jack Counting

We're back from vacation and it's pretty clear that absence did NOT make Dan's heart grow fonder. We giggled about butts, debated the monetary value of a penis, and, just like every other idiot on the planet, talked about Pokemon Go. Enjoy, please!!!!!!!

Download HERE!

Ep. 178 Fat Pad

Well folks, we solved racism this week. Not only that, but we learned how to make your penis bigger, a surefire way to get banned from the Waffle House, and that there's really only one game created around farts. Enjoy this. Please. <3

Download HERE!

Ep. 177 Shit Pickle

The Bristol Stool Scale is something most people don't know about, but everyone should. Let us teach you! Also on the show, ball surgery, a spooooky flasher, & some other incredibly immature things that are sure to make you laugh against your better judgement. We love you, enjoy it!!!!

Download HERE!

Ep. 176 Naughty Mouth

Dan's inner child comes out in the creepiest possible way this week, a toilet snake with a taste for ween is released into the jungle, and Mandy stares into the vaginal abyss of old age... Join us for these and other fun topics, won't you?! We love you! Enjoooy!

Download HERE!

Ep. 175 Gus & Schmalbert

Delve into the racial politics of an 8 year old's birthday party, a lady becoming one with a toilet seat, and the interview of the century with former Donald Trump spokesperson John Miller! Also, John Barron makes an appearance, and Donald Trump himself shows up... It got weird. We had fun. Enjoooy!!!! We love you!

Download HERE!

Ep. 174 The Hump Game

We start off this week with the mighty c word, so who knows how it will end?! Well, we do because we were there, but you have to listen to find out! Here are some other things you will find out: the types of games a future murderer might invent as a child, how to identify poison in a pussy, and why superheroes are such amazing seamsters (seamstresses?!). And more! Enjoooy it!

Download HERE!

Ep. 173 Die With a Boner

We had a song in our hearts this week, along with the usual filth. We also had an in-depth discussion of the coolest letter (it's clearly z), some super racist middle schoolers, and deadly genital spider bites. Join us, and enjoy!!! Enjoyyyy!!!

Download HERE!

Ep. 172 Sex Demon

The vast Prince conspiracy, the dangers of lady whacking, and making the choice between drinking breast milk or dying are just a few of the scintillating topics we cover this week. We've also included a some content you can normally only get when you listen live!!! Tune in, drop out & for God's sake, Eeeenjoy this!!!!!

Download HERE!

Ep. 171 Owl Hoot

There was a lot of laughter this week, and maybe a few tears... But from laughter. We talked about crack pipes in vaginas & butts, performing yoga atop a horse, and some creepy God stuff that will make your skin crawl. If you have skin. Which I hope you do. Listen & enjoy! Please! Cause we want you too. Squinches!!! <3

Download HERE!

Ep. 170 The Fundus From Down Undus

Did you miss us?!?? Don't tell us if you didn't, it would break our hearts. We came back with a vengeance, with topics including- the magical story of Mandy giving birth, road kill photography, and a dude whacking it forever and ever. Enjoooy, we love you!¡!¡!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/mw1t87w766y1kh5/170firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 169 Pile of Virgins

We dig deep into the mysteries of life this week. Mysteries like: what happens to the 72 virgins when you're done with them? Why would someone take their parakeet on a joyride? What kind of monster arrests someone for a desperate need to poop? And so very many more. Enjoy, please! You are loved!!!

Download HERE!

Ep. 168 Jackin' for Jesus

What's the best way to celebrate Leap Day? How can a person get accidentally possessed by demons? Is giving birth really that hard or are women just huge pansies? We answer all these questions, and so many more... So tune in & ENJOY IT!!!!!!! Muah, muah, kiss, kiss, hug, hug, squinch!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/autv0x1yea1km1t/168firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 167 The God of Serbian Poontang

Hello, friends! Come chat with us about wooing Russian mail order brides, Dan's sensitive, shy half a soul, and drunken knife monkeys! We also talk about other stuff. Important stuff. Stuff you want to know about. We love you!!! Enjoooy it!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/po2x72o5vbxav1i/167firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 166 Mary Poppin' Boners

We don't expect you to listen, stupid. Because this is a show for smart people. Smart people who like beastiality. But we do love you, and hope you listen! Enjoooy it! Smooches!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/5ifqlq9nit12271/166firnecast.mp3

Ep. 165 Potterphelia

It's time, once again, for... THE FIRNECAST!!! This week: why it sucks to have a name that's in a song, how Valentine's Day is amateur hour for love, internet safety tips (always Google age before you Google a nude), and what core your penis would have if it were a wand... Also lots of other stuff! ENJOY!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/x3rf37eg4lpd63k/165firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 164 Farts & Danger

This week Dan bestows us with the glorious gift of song! Not only does he sing show tunes, but also rather obscure, exceedingly filthy 90's girl group soul songs. We also talk about the sexual feelings old timey mountaineers had towards the Grand Tetons, Bugs Bunny's overt racism, and the differences between rural drinkin and city drinkin! Join us, won't you? Love you, enjoy, muah muah muah!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/xxk7ictnrjr1d8n/164firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 163 Grumpy Groper

We unearthed an anti-pornography film from 1962 this week, and we're giving you a hefty dose of the morality you so desperately need! We also talked about the rudeness of people who tell you you don't look pregnant, gigantic vegetable penises, and communist ice cream! Enjoy this show, please!!! We ♥ you!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/kbmi61kb9gz6vq9/163firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 162 Blue Waffle House

Dan is still miserable, Mandy is still pregnant, and the world is still a crazy place. We talk about bellydancing for fitness, a very grope-y police officer, and how many people we'd like to see naked. Also, a 'Merica! update, and a trip down memory lane with everybody's (except Mandy's) favorite segment: Mandy's High School Poetry Corner! Ennnnjoy this episode so much!!! Squinches!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/f72626l9cpjbaks/162firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 161 The Dickening

We are just full of good advice this week! Stuff about how to commit murder on Justin Bieber, how to spend your Powerball winnings, and how to avoid the deadly trap of buying the Playboy Mansion. Also, we introduce our fun new segment, 'MERICA!, which we hope will bring you just as much joy as it brings us. And butts and inside out vaginas and the usual stuff, too! Enjoy!!!! ♥

http://www.mediafire.com/download/28w99s3060b30ws/161firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 160 The Year's Review in Penis

It's a very penis-centric episode this week, friends! But that's what you like, isn't it, you naughty things? We also discuss the merits of joking racism, Mandy's Gumpian IQ, Dan's (rather terrible) plan for old age, & the Back to the Future cartoon series... Also other stuff! Enjoy!!!! Muah!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/fdea9s92mapakt6/160firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 159 Schlonged

Ring in the New Year the right way... With us, the ones who love you!!! Mandy was given the glorious gift of a mumu, we discussed the Great (non-vaginal) Christmas Yeast Infection of 2015 and getting schlonged! It's fun, enjoy it!!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/27k7x6gk0plc14z/159firnecastfinal.mp3