Ep. 119 Sitcom Christmas Special

Merry Christmas and Happy Jingle Balls, darling listeners!!! You are a gift to us!!! We tried our best to ruin Christmas for you, did we succeed? Santa's spankin' playlist, Dan's grumpy grumping, and the joyful singing of obscene Christmas carols... Join us, won't you?! ♥♥♥

http://www.mediafire.com/download/uj2szle67sd4t78/119firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 118 Older Women Make Beautiful Lovers

We're back, baby!!! Back with the hot topics (What does Kermit's finger smell like? What does old lady love making sound like? What percentage of men actually jerk and drive? ) you've been waiting lo these many weeks to hear about! We missed you, hope you missed us!!! Muah and eeeenjoy it!!!! ♥

http://www.mediafire.com/download/79b98ok4g72c3l9/118_firnecastfinal.mp3

THROWBACK Ep. 31 Kim Jong 2 (originally posted as Jingle Balls)

By popular demand, we're throwing back to the episode featuring one of Mandy's most famous humiliations!That's right, new listeners can enjoy, and old friends can re-enjoy, yet another moment that will never be lived down. Ever. It will just keep haunting her. Anyway, it's funny! Love you guys, we'll be back to our regular schedule with new shows soon!!!

In this very special Christmas episode, you'll find us discussing such heart-warming holiday topics as hillbilly porn, wall balls, and Kim Jong 2: The Sequel. Let us in your ears to sing inappropriate Christmas carols, roast some chestnuts, and make some merry!!! It's like egg nog for your soul!!!

http://archive.org/download/Firnecast31/31firnecastfinal.mp3 

THROWBACK Ep. 58 Jumpin' Death Darkhorse

If you're a new listener, then you better hold onto your butt. Because in this throwback episode you are going to be introduced to a man with the power to rip it right off your body without even blinking his big brown eyes... That's right, it's the debut of one Jumpin' Death Darkhorse, the baddest man in town... Which town? ANY TOWN. Enjoy! 

There's more than "meats" the eye to this week's episode, that's for sure! We're talking about an amazing piece of our family history, nipple belts, and wieners... Always wieners. We'll also update you on one of our favorite "Ladies of Weird News," and Mandy's "character" Melinda may stop by for a visit. "Perhaps" I'll use more quotation marks  in this description as well! You will enjoy this, if you let yourself!!! P.S. Stick around for this week's Easter egg & find out what The Riddler Laugh really is!

http://archive.org/download/Firnecast58/58firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 117 The Dinklage Scale

This week we are uncut and unedited for your pleasure! We got a little political, but we also asked some pretty important philosophical questions... Does Beyonce have a penis? How many years does it take to earn a degree in Cigarette Stocking Technology? Is there a real game called Fluffy Bunny or did Mandy just make it up? We'll give you the answers and perhaps get you to ask a few questions yourself, such as "Why? Just why?" if you'll only listen to this here episode! ♥

http://www.mediafire.com/download/tptav5wneq6y3ob/117firnecastfinal.mp3

REDUX Ep. 45 Gayliens w/ Special Guest Alien Al

Dan's off gallivanting around doing God knows what this week, so we don't have a new show. Buuuuut, we do have a very special long-lost episode for you, to remind you of the good times we shared. It's Alien Al!!! Most of you are already familiar with this crazy character, and those of you that aren't are in for a real treat! Be prepared for laughter (his rapping) and tears (his scary stories about his UFO encounters) in this oldie but goodie!

Alien Al has returned to the show and he's rapping about Hennessy, blunts, and lawn mowing (a combination that only he could pull off)! We also try to get him a'cussin and find out if God has hooks for hands. This is a double-barrelled jumping jiminetty of an episode, just you listen!!!

http://archive.org/download/Firnecast45/45firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 116 Oh, Piglet!

Technical difficulties be damned, THIS SHOW WILL GO ON!!! Dan did some yelling and cursing, Mandy did some talk about boners, and Jay took the conversation to a place that will surely land him in Hell. This episode won't leave you violently poking your ears out, hopefully! Enjoy it!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/nb8gybatyel3tmb/116firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 115 Unmentionables

You don't wanna know what we're hiding in our 15 gallon hat this week! Why? Cause we're talkin' gay marriage in good ol' Wyoming, the animal that tastes most like a human, and what it's like to have a micro penis for a toe... Oh, you'll have a heck of a time if you just hitch your wagon to our star, sit back, and enjoy the ride!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/8mcaxcflr7lhluy/115firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 114 Nutz On Da Crust

It's a shortie but a goodie this week! Not only do we take up so very little of your time, but we give you all the hot Weird News action you've been craving! Ball pizza, the sad tale of a guy with bad 90's hair that can't stop climaxing, and what it might be like to do it on top of a giant whoopee cushion. Give us a listen, a deep, penetrating listen, and enjoy this!!!! Muah!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/0oum9bh4d7e319k/dan.mp3

Ep. 113 Dusty Clam

It's not the usual this week, it's the extra special brain lint clearing chit chat hour!  We scoop the detritus off our brains and dump it directly onto our dear listeners! What's in this gooey mess? Celebrity Penis Match-Up, we try to sell each other on QVC, and naked old ladies! Okay, the naked old ladies thing IS the usual, but the rest is allll fresh! Enjoooy it!!! Muah!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/d6o035q30g3d6ug/113firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 112 Kate Frisbee's Big Ass Wine Glass

It is with overwhelming gladness that we welcomed this week's guest, the fabulous Kate Frisbee of Quick Draw fame! We bonded over our love for all things alcohol, regrettable North Dakotan lower back tattoos, and potentially deceased 80 year old party companions. She has captured the spirit of drunkenness... And our hearts!!!! You can't not enjoy this!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/eul2ry97we4de22/112firnecastfinal.mp3 

Ep. 111 John Dildy: Private Investigator

Good afternoon! Or morning or evening, as the case may be! Step on into an episode filled with mexi-tots, Tigerbeatin', and super delicious strawberry frosted cocaine! There's so much more I could say about this episode, but I don't want to ruin the surprise. So please, enjoy this! Muah!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/sbsxh38twa1h16d/111firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 110 Tasha Ames and The Female Mystery

We were positively charmed by our guest this week, the hilarious Tasha Ames of the show Quick Draw on Hulu! We talked about the perils of too-tight corsets, mystery sweat, and we have our most embarrassing moment... Like, beyond embarrassing. Thank God Tasha is such a lovely, tolerant person... Oh man. Please to enjoy this, please to follow her on Twitter @TashaAmes, and please to check out her awesome show!!! Muah!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/eg1c14nec9ycb27/110firnecastfinalpodcast.mp3

http://www.mediafire.com/listen/eg1c14nec9ycb27/110firnecastfinalpodcast.mp3

Ep. 109 Whack Olympics

Celebrity nudes distract Dan from this week's episode, but never fear! Mandy rescues it with her humiliating high school poetry,we discover that corpses are notoriously smelly, and we invent the only Olympics worth watching, the Whack Olympics!!! Join us for another fun week, and please remember how much we love you. Muah!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/b6crdnl84bs0c2z/109firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 108 John Lehr Has a Case of Hysteria

Quick Draw your ears close and listen to the tale of the amazing John Lehr! We talked to him about his awesome show Quick Draw on Hulu, what Christina Applegate smells like, and Producer Jay pitches an amazing idea for Season 4 of the show... Spoiler alert, the board it got written down on was imaginary! Enjoy this, we love you for listening!!!
http://www.mediafire.com/download/b4smtwh1z6psb8l/john_lehr_interviewFINAL.mp3   

Ep. 107 Penis Territory w/ Sarah Frary

We're getting philosophical on your ass this week, with super special amazing friend/guest SARAH FRARY!!! She is an extremely talented artist/tattoo artist from Ten Sleep, and we chat with her about stuff like lawn chair humping, salmon snagging, and what it's like to have a molecular meltdown at Salmonstock. Check her out at www.facebook.com/spiralunwinding and be sure to tell her we sent you! Enjooooy, friends!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/gbeyo814s7clbg8/107firnecast.mp3

Ep. 106 Internal Sunshine

Dan is back from paternity leave and filthier than ever! He upset us by telling us he was going to knit a sweater for his ween out of his own pubic hair, and then we talked about this other stuff... How to find our inner sparkle, the legacy of Robin Williams' hairy body, and Amelia Earhart's terrible plane crash with the Lindbergh baby.  Hope you enjoy it!!! Thanks for listening with your cute little ears!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/klanj7rr08kmpza/106firnecastfinal.mp3

Lonely Ladies Wine Club, Ep. 462

Wine? Check. Status? Alone. Perfect, you're ready for another episode of The Lonely Ladies Wine Club! This week, Shannon & Jay tease Mandy mercilessly about something that is JUST. NOT. TRUE., make her blush, and embarrass her.  The ladies also discuss Poontential Problems, teach you how to become SEXUAL NAPALM, and give you more lovemaking advice than you can handle!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/i9832ap1ain7gjg/Lonely_Ladies_Wine_Club_462.mp3

The Lonely Ladies Wine Club, Ep. 328

Grab your wine, kick your man out of the room, and listen to the latest episode of The Lonely Ladies Wine Club! This week we get s.a.s.s.y.! in our usual fashion, with Shannon's adventures atop a 47 lb, well, we'll let you find out! ;), tips to spice up your love life, and a very special edition of Boob Aches!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/1p7cyv4yj28xp9v/Lonely_Ladies_Wine_Club_328.mp3

Ep. 105 Boobs Akimbo

As usual, the only people we are amusing are ourselves... With things like the tale of Dan's lost nipple, the creepiest thing to whisper, our talent for getting blown off by celebrities we want to interview, and a little known vacation destination called Masturbation City. Join us, won't you? In love, in life, in laughter. We love you, and please enjoy!!! Muah muah muah!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/2av7twly20w80v3/105firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 104 VaGina Davis

We talk about the subjects that no one else dares... Subjects like Grandma's patented sex move, old lady bodies that look like leather muppets, the dangers of toilet snakes, and life in Rapetown, USA. Can you handle it??? I hope so!!! We love you, enjoy please!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/ff5ayjx538vaiv4/104firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 103 Body Gravy

A few gems of wisdom nestled amongst our usual filth... Don't make sweet love to wooden objects; if you're going to have a lawn made out of carpet, roll it up for the winter; and always, ALWAYS put your pinky out while drinking your meth tea. Also we talk about other messed up stuff... We say the proper names for genitalia a lot, the usual. Love you, please enjoy this!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/j55uqygact3wv3s/103firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 102 Sugar Dick

Back from summer break and "better" than ever!!! Mandy reveals that she is actually a Hodor-like character called "Bone-or", Dan tells a harrowing tale of reverse racism, and we are mystified by the love lives of the people in our Weird News stories. Please to enjoy!!!!! Love you!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/zud20o7cunp702y/102firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 101 Papa Bonarrr

Well, I wanted to cut the Corky stuff. Like, I desperately wanted to cut it. It was just... Well, I'm sure you can guess. But it became so firmly entrenched in the show that it was impossible. I think Dan did that on purpose. Aside from poor, sweet, innocent little Corky, we also talked about Dan's fleshy pink face, Spiderman's boner, and we have a particularly sad edition of Mandy's High School Poetry corner! Please enjoy!!! Muah!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/4y2ok6mx8isgw4v/101firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 100 Century Club Extravaganza! w/ guest Todd Misomelius

Hey there, beautiful listeners!!! This is our 100th episode, if you can believe it... Ah, time flies when you're having fun, right? Well, I was having fun. Dan was just barely tolerating my presence most of the time.  We played a rousing game of Century Club to celebrate, Todd said a horrible thing, Dan said many horrible things, I was horrified, we laughed, and I almost shot beer out of my nose twice. I hope this episode is as fun to listen to as it was to record, but I don't really remember anything we talked about, so who knows?! Listen as we start slow and get more and more insane, and enjoy that at the very least... I hope. Thank you, all of you brave souls who listen to our nonsense on a weekly basis and make this so very much fun for us. We love you, and let's see how many more episodes I can force Dan to do, perhaps 100 more!!! ♥♥♥

http://www.mediafire.com/download/bxlx48c0btukixh/100firnecastfinal2.mp3

Ep. 99 Pobody's Nerfect

Inappropriate is our middle name this week when it comes to our in-depth discussion of race relations. Not only that, but we give you our best advice about conversational farting, God's blind spot, and ways to spend your manzillion dollars! Please to enjoy!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/rkdayfs4xlja77f/99firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 98 No-Ner

Grab your sugar Grandma-Ma and settle in for another exciting episode! This week is just stuffed full of hilarious yet sophisticated topics like urinal creepers, mystery poopers, and penis lips. We also bring back everyone's favorite raffle of humiliation, Mandy's High School Poetry Corner! Please to enjoy this!!! We love you!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/n63sy4ktsp95rm8/98firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 97 Officer Pervington

This week we realized what terrible people we are. Also, that it's highly unlikely that we have any deaf listeners. We also discuss a wonderful place called The Pisser's Palace, felony assault with bodily fluid, and Fabio's poor attempt at a Meatloaf impersonation. Please enjoy and share with your friends!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/dcn03t6ihl6oldd/97firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 96 Born Horny

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, we ask: What's on your mind-o? We also rate women's hotness on the Scoville Scale, discuss elderly genitals, Alicia Silverstone gives us parenting tips, and we tell you the worst movies ever!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/9kd18aoni9j5qva/96firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 95 1/2: FULL UNEDITED Interview w/Jodorowsky's Dune Director FRANK PAVICH

In this special presentation, we give you our full unedited over-an-hour-long discussion with Frank Pavich, director of the most buzzed about movie of the year, Jodorowsky's Dune! Topics vary, minds wander, and a great time is had by all. You (sorta) asked for it, so here it is, kids!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/9oftnzbxq98oroc/PavichInterviewFull.mp3

Ep. 95 Incredible Peen & Jodorowsky's Dune w/ special guest Frank Pavich

We were charmed this week by the super cool director of the new documentary Jodorowsky's Dune, Frank Pavich! Join us for the fascinating, some might say "life affirming" interview, plus the usual inappropriate topics you've come to know and love! Yet more guns hidden inside ladies, bovine glares, and Mandy's general creepitude regarding the gentleman guests await your ears. Enjoy, and we love you!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/9tbfjowd1pzyy1b/95firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 94 Lady Pooper

We weren't going to do an episode this week, but we just couldn't help ourselves! We desperately needed to share with you our new game show called Gay or Mormon?, The Tale of Bill Sniffen, and Donald Duck's leaked sex tape. Clearly, it was too important to wait a week. We love you and hope you ENJOY THIS!!!!! ♥♥♥

http://www.mediafire.com/download/awqh5174cwiogtv/94firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 93 Bit of a Poop

"If Jesus comes back during one of these blood moons, well... I will just eat my hat!" is just one of the little wisdoms we will drop on you this week. We will discuss the "telescope" wanking technique, the results of writing a song while you're hungry, and so very much more. Enjoy, please!!! Love you!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/kgg9pgvsvijwqmb/93firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 92 Hoggin'

Turns out, Jesus doesn't put up with no gluten-free bull honky! We discover not only that, but also polyorchidism, what the sex pre-verts are ruining for us normal folks, and a gentleman that can use his member like an elephant's trunk! Join us, be our friend, and most of all, enjoy this!!!!!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/lub5ambyccatl0m/92firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 91 Ethan Embry + Us = Love

This week we are charmed and delighted by our amazing guest, the one and only ETHAN EMBRY! Not only did he steal our (and most especially teenage Mandy's) hearts in the 90's in his films Can't Hardly Wait and Empire Records, but he impressed the ever living hell out of us in his new film CHEAP THRILLS (available on iTunes, Amazon, and in select theaters right now!)! We talked about committing the perfect crime, Chevy Chase wearing a dress, and got some tips on how to rock a hat. You can't help yourself, you'll fall in love with Mr. Embry just like we did, so ENJOY IT!!!  Follow him on Twitter @EmbryEthan, and tell him the Firnecast sent you!

http://cheapthrillsmovie.com/

http://www.mediafire.com/download/uzbmmd91zazvzq5/91firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 90 Erect-icon

It's a strange week for us (as usual) when we have a surprise last minute fill in for our beloved Producer Jay... We find out what the camel of the sky is, what happens when you zafferize malt liquor, and the consequences of sending a child to school with no pants on. We sincerely hope you enjoy this!

http://www.mediafire.com/?vzph3kct8btv3lc 

Ep. 89 Slim Pickens Goes to Vegas

Vegas, baby!!! Oh yeah, we just can't keep our traps shut about our big adventure to Sin Town! What made Dan cry, what made Mandy cry, and what does it feel like to have the fingers of the world pointed directly at your crotch?! Listen and find out!!! Also, we're visited by a ghostly presence while we record, we talk about Mandy's issues recognizing faces, and Dan floats a theory about that Malaysian plane. Eeeenjoy it!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/dq62uba94pjr6na/89firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 88 Unedited Pre-Vegas Hot Mess

We were too busy getting ready to go to Las Vegas for WickedCon to edit this podcast... Or remember what we talked about. Or write a proper description. Enjoy it, please!!!

 

http://www.mediafire.com/download/igs773pijei5799/88firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 87 Whack Tattlin'

I will be describing this week's episode with a series of quotes: “I haven’t shown my belly in public since before I had children.”, “There’s no greater threat to the young Mormon man than his own hand.”,“I don’t wanna go to hell, but I also don’t want my Grandma to know I was whacking it last night.” All these gems and more, enjoy it!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/7x0i69vp2w20ags/87firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 86 Turgid Manhood

Sexy Julia Child stopped by this week and taught us things... Mysterious things... We also talked about being Fabio's Eskimo brother, Dan's not so secret boner for Jenny Jones, and how unfair it is that boys only have one part to cover up when they're naked. Enjoy this nonsense!!! We love you!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/eb4i0oq0persoe9/86firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 85 Dick Tater

Hello, lovers!!! Welcome into our twisted little brains! This week we will subject you to these glorious topics: sex casserole, glistening hams, the undulating hips of a fake woman on the internet, and we issue an apology to the fake boob community. Oh yeah, there's more... So... Enjoy it!!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/g8wqrhla8ig4nd6/85firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 84 Stripper Nipple

We sail gracefully off the rails this week with the following delightful topics: the varying degrees of naked, ginger tits, Wyoming missed connections, gym boners, and much, much more! Enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/6za3ya46wa77a3p/84firnecastfinal.mp3

P.S. Apologies for the sound errors, starting at around the 36:00 mark. They couldn't be fixed. :(

Ep. 83 Road House Fart Opera

This week, the Firnecast was LIVE as part of the partnership between Radio FUBAR and Wicked Radio Network. Mandy LOSES HER MIND over a fartingly hilarious weird news story. Then, she loses it again over the sheer majesty of the 80's action masterpiece, Road House! Listen to all this and more, and make sure to join us every Monday at 8:30 MST on radiofubar.com, immediately following Wheelbarrow Full of Dicks!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/46qowuam026u4ye/83firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 82 Taco UFOs w/ Alien Al

Alien Al is back, baby!!! He answers your questions, explains to us the mystery of the taco-shaped UFO, and tells us tales of ranch life, evil chickens, and what it was like to be conceived in a sheep wagon. We also conned him into rapping for us again, and lemme tell ya, things got weird. We had so much fun, we hope you do too! Enjoy this!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/v54wlc64pw8x5u2/82firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 81 Carpet Python

There's weird, and then there's eeeewwww!!!!!!... As usual, we dip our toes into the pond of eeeewwww!!!!!! We discuss the most pleasurable types of cheese, naked darting, Dan's horrifying trip to prom with my friend, and we crown Miss Gun in Her Vagina 2014! Enjoy it!!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/b32thdl3cj5c2i5/81firnecastfinal.mp3

Ep. 80 Quality Used Porn

Back from our gravy-induced holiday coma, we discuss topics that will make your Mama blush! Topics like the parts of hoarders that are the smelliest, Apostles reincarnated as mobsters, and the many uses for a pee pee teepee. There's more, so much more, so get this in your ear holes and let us bring you joy!!!!! JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥

http://www.mediafire.com/download/s0ykj666b1vdev6/80firnecastfinal.mp3

REDUX Ep. 37 Brody Stevens vs. The Vacuum Drinker

Happy New Year, ya dummies!!! Just kidding, you're wonderful!!! We are presenting to you this extra special re-airing of our one and only celebrity interview, Brody Stevens of Comedy Central's new show Enjoy It! Encased in this forgotten oyster of an episode are pearls of hilarity and the birth of many of the inside jokes we have on the show. Mr. Stevens rebuffs Mandy's advances in no uncertain terms and we talked about that naked poopy vacuum dude. We hope you love it!!! As Brody would say, (and us now too *inside joke*) enjoy it!!!

http://www.mediafire.com/download/a92498qnrjquwyn/37firnecastfinal2.mp3